Culture Shock in China

A guide for foreigners on cultural adaptation

A short book by

Brian Hennessy,  DipT; BA; MEd; DipPsych. 

Australian psychologist

Chongqing, CHINA

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Chapter 1. Traditional Chinese values

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Sir Edmund Hilary prepared for his goal of climbing Mount Everest by learning everything he could about the mountain’s environment beforehand. Facing the challenge of living in a foreign culture requires a similar attitude and approach. That is; we should learn everything we can about China and its culture beforehand.

“Know your enemy” said Sun Zi, China’s ancient sage and author of the classic, “The Art of War.” This treatise on understanding the environment you are operating in is a valuable resource for anyone contemplating doing business in China. It focuses on strategy and can give an insight into the thinking behind the behaviour of your Chinese associates.

The following brief introduction to some traditional Chinese values goes a little deeper than that. It identifies and outlines some specific cultural values which underpin the behaviour of all Chinese citizens in their daily lives, and is offered in note form for easy reference.

Foreign guests and foreign experts who have arrived recently in China, and who hope to understand and adapt to this fascinating and mysterious culture should find this information useful.

In the meantime, when life is difficult…just take one day at a time. .

Content:

• Collectivism.
• Large power distance.
• Within-group harmony.
• Guanxi.
• Harmonious interactions.
• Face.
• Friendship obligations.
• Institutional decision-making & negotiations.
• Some published research on this topic.

Collectivism

China’s history is rooted in agriculture. This influenced how Chinese society developed. Individuals would combine their labour to plant and harvest crops, and this subjugation of personal goals to community goals led eventually to the belief that the collective is the smallest unit of Chinese society.

Confucian ethics reinforced this idea (2,500 years ago), and today collectivism it is maintained by the political system (e.g., the work unit or Danwei). This way of thinking and behaving is fundamentally different from that of western societies (Type A personalities take note: In China you are regarded as misfits!)

Although rapid economic change is also forcing social change in China, if history is anything to go by, Chinese people will keep their deeply rooted values.

Large power distance

The unequal distribution of power is a fact that is accepted by all. Confucianism embodied this attitude to power and authority by stressing the benefits of ordered hierarchical relationships.

Historically, Chinese people have always shown respect for age, seniority, rank, maleness, and family background.

China has always been, and remains, a cultural, political, and social hierarchy. A ‘Top-down’society.’ The Chinese were the first society to develop a bureaucracy and nothing much has changed since. No flattened hierarchies here. Egalitarianism as we understand and practice it in the west is a foreign concept.

My advice is: learn to live with it.

Within-group harmony

Within-group harmony is highly valued. Overt conflict in interpersonal relationships is disapproved of, and overt confrontation should be avoided.

Although you will see examples of confrontation in the street (e.g., two protagonists yelling at each other in front of a growing crowd of bystanders after a traffic accident) remember that these guys would not belong to the same group.

The group is sacrosanct. Anyone else is fair game. Chinese people identify strongly with their collective (e.g., family, work-group) and regard anyone else as an outsider. There is little community involvement as we understand it in the west, and little sense of community responsibility.

Guanxi

‘Guanxi’ has connotations of: relationship, connection, obligation and dependency. The social linking of two people who in some way have developed a relationship of mutual dependence is explained as guanxi.

The Chinese gain leverage in daily affairs through guanxi, which enables them to call upon certain others to supply, or assist in gaining access to, scarce goods and services. Sometimes, the flow of goods and services tends to be in one direction. Such as when a poor or ill-connected relative expects and receives benefits from a richer and more powerful relative or friend.

Reciprocal exchange: More often, however, the relationship involves an ongoing series of reciprocal exchanges. One gives to another and therefore expects, at some unspecified future date, to receive from that other person. Or if one receives, one incurs an obligation to give later on.

Giving in the guanxi system is a kind of social investment which one may draw on later. Any act of helpfulness or generosity, no matter whether given or received, begins to draw one into the network of reciprocal exchanges.

Guanxi is the grease which makes daily life run smoothly and is one means by which a foreigner can begin to build positive personal relationships with ordinary Chinese people. Although guanxi relationships are informal and unofficial, they are not a cold and calculating exchange.

Pitfalls for foreigners:Foreigners have little sense of the level of giving and receiving that is appropriate for any given relationship. Gifts or favours of different values are appropriate for people at different levels in the hierarchy and for people at different stages in a relationship. Problems can arise if a foreigner gives or receives a gift or favour that is viewed as unusually large or small by the Chinese person involved.

For example; if a foreigner accepts a gift that is unusually valuable, a heavy obligation to repay may be attached to that gift. (NB: Guanxi should not be equated with bribery).

It pays to build relationships in China. The process of doing so builds guanxi. Guanxi is money in the bank!

Harmonious interactions

Assertiveness: Being direct and assertive in interacting with others may be OK in an individualistic society where a certain amount of competitiveness and abrasiveness might be tolerated. However, this is not the case in China where within-group harmony should be preserved at all costs. Abrasiveness is condemned, and personal assertiveness is branded as selfishness.

Whereas westerners might view self-promoting behaviour as sometimes necessary, Chinese people view such behaviour as a threat to group harmony. Whereas westerners might be concerned with the effects of individualistic behaviour on other individuals, Chinese people will focus on the potential damage to group harmony that individualistic behaviour might cause.

Anger: An angry person undermines the dignity and well-being of the group and is not considered worthy of respect. Serious loss of face is the result. It does not matter if the anger is justified or not (traffic accidents excepted). For example: After arriving in China, a foreign woman was told apologetically that her living quarters were not fully prepared and that she would have to sleep in an unused kitchen. Although she was unhappy about this situation, she maintained an appearance of outward calm for one, two, and then three weeks. After a month with no change she exploded in rage.

From a western point of view her anger was justified. In China however, the provocation did not justify her level of anger.

What should she have done? She should have reacted firmly (but without anger) on the day of her arrival, saying unequivocally that the unused kitchen was unsuitable. She should have requested repeatedly to discuss the matter with top administrators; and she should not have relented until she was able to have such a discussion and to be assigned more suitable quarters.

By accepting the unsuitable quarters for a month, she gave the impression that they were minimally acceptable to her. Thus the Chinese were perplexed as well as offended by her eventual rage.

Face

The concern for ‘face’ exists in the west as well as in China. For example; in the west, the “white-lie” may be employed to save someone else’s face (as well as our own). Personal qualities such as tact, diplomacy, and sensitivity may also be related to one’s ability to preserve the face of others.

The difference between western and Chinese concepts of face is that face has greater social significance for the Chinese. In the west, although the concern for face exists, it is largely outside of people’s awareness. In China however, everyone is conscious of face all the time. A Chinese proverb says: “A person needs face as a tree needs bark.”

In the west: People are more socially and geographically mobile in the west. The composition of one’s community, work, and friendship groups can change often during one’s lifetime. Thus individuals are more dependent on their own resources for success. As a result, less importance is placed on the maintenance of group integrity and harmony. This phenomenon also affects attitudes to power and authority.

For example; whereas today you are my superior, tomorrow I might find a job in another city that is the equal of yours. And the following year, it is possible that I may return to this city as your boss. Although formal positions of authority command respect, the individual person or face behind that authority may be treated in a more informal or egalitarian manner. Any loss of face that might be suffered by an individual will not automatically threaten the integrity of either the office he holds, or the groups he belongs to.

It is different in China: Traditionally, Chinese people have been less socially and geographically mobile (although this is changing) and have tended to spend their entire life in the company of the same friends, neighbours, and relatives. Thus, maintaining harmonious relationships among all members of the group is of major importance.

Consequently, face-saving behaviours have greater significance; they maintain harmony, avoid conflicts, and protect the integrity of the group. If one individual person loses face, the authority of his position, as well as the integrity of the group he belongs to, is threatened.

Reciprocal obligations: Confucius said that humans exist in interactive relationships, and that most relationships are unequal in nature. He found no fault with inequality and defined a code of reciprocal obligations for both senior and junior members of the hierarchy.

This code still underlies much of Chinese thinking and behaviour today, despite the ideals of socialist egalitarianism and the competitive materialism of modern China. His legacy is a powerful one. Alert foreigners will have noted that during the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympic games, Confucianism was stressed, while communism was not. Historically, Confucianism has been used by violent usurpers of an emperor’s throne as a way to maintain legitimacy.

Li: These reciprocal obligations between senior and junior members of society were expressed in the Chinese virtue known as Li which means (right conduct in maintaining one’s place in the hierarchical order). Li is now used by the average Chinese to mean courtesy, etiquette, and decorum. Social harmony is preserved when all parties in a social situation behave in a decorous manner. One important way to be decorous is to accept and respect each person’s need to maintain his or her face. Causing someone to lose face may well be construed as a challenge to his or her position in the hierarchy. Thus criticism of another person, especially of a superior, is fraught with danger. Loss of face is not merely a matter of personal embarrassment; it also threatens to disrupt the integrity of the group.

In the west: individual integrity is uniquely important. In China: individual and group integrity are both important.

Friendship obligations

The Chinese person’s expectations of mutual dependency may be much higher than the foreigner’s. It is not difficult to form friendships in China. But maintaining a friendship that is satisfactory for both parties may be difficult for foreigners.

For example; a Chinese person usually has a limited number of friends. However, their relationship will usually last a lifetime. These friends will share most aspects of his life, and the duties and obligations of this friendship are virtually unlimited. Enormous responsibility is attached.

Think “formal” rather than “informal” when you are being invited to those enjoyable banquets. As they say in the Classics: “there is no such thing as a free lunch” (Beware of banquets. Be aware of guanxi).

Institutional decision making & negotiations.

Decisions:

In Western institutions: decisions are often associated with one individual. In Chinese institutions: decisions are usually arrived at through a group process.

In both cultures: There is usually a leadership group consisting of the most powerful people who meet regularly to keep themselves informed about what is going on and to discuss current issues and problems.

In Chinese institutions (general) decisions are made by a process of leader-mediated compromise that involves people discussing matters behind the scenes, circulating written memoranda, and meeting formally. The leader listens to the opinions of many people, then makes a decision that takes all opinions into account. At this point, the value of Harmony requires group members to blend in (Suihe) with the final decision of their leader.

In short, Chinese group members have more input into the decision-making process than western members. A Chinese leader feels more obligated than a western leader to consider the views of many subordinates before he makes the final decision.

Thus, the Chinese decision making process takes a lot of time. Decisions of any consequence must be referred for approval up the hierarchical ladder (and Chinese ladders are much longer than western ladders). The time taken for information to travel from the lower rungs to the top rungs and back down again is longer than in the west, where middle-managers can short-circuit this process.

Whereas western negotiators have the authority to make decisions within the boundaries of company policy, Chinese negotiators and middle managers cannot step outside the boundaries of their roles which are well-defined. They have no power to make on the spot decisions which are part and parcel of all negotiations and must always seek approval from their superiors for any changes. The constant referral to higher authorities slows down the negotiation process. It is also a source of frustration for western negotiators because they do not know who they are dealing with. The decision makers are unseen.

A final point: most Chinese institutions operate under the jurisdiction and authority of government leaders: from provincial to national. The final arbiter. Sometimes policy changes can affect negotiations.

Negotiations:

The Chinese are relationship-oriented.The aim is to develop a partnership built on trust; one that has an aura of permanence. The process has great social value for the Chinese. Thus the behaviour of task-oriented western negotiators when they are away from the negotiating table is also important. Chinese people do not discriminate between the person and the task.

Point: Western negotiators should not let their hair down too much when being entertained after-hours. Watch the grog, and stay away from that beautiful young lady who is flattering you with her attention. She has probably been paid to do this. (helpful hint: behave as you would if your spouse was with you!).

General principals come first.Chinese negotiators will usually begin by discussing in broad terms the mutual interests that are shared, or could be shared. There is a reluctance to discuss details at this early stage. The focus is on reaching agreement on general principals governing the evolving relationship, and at this stage negotiators are more likely to concentrate on the long-term possibilities of the partnership rather than on specific details.

In fact, although Chinese commercial law is accommodating itself to western ways of doing business (courtesy of the WTO), generally speaking the Chinese are not as legalistic as westerners. They do not completely share the western view that a contract is a binding set of watertight specifications.

The Chinese focus is on the long term, not the short term.They see the transaction as an incident in a long-term relationship. They think that the principal purpose of a contract is to establish a positive relationship between two parties, one that focuses generally on shared interests and one which will continue indefinitely.

Youyi: There may be much talk about friendship or Youyi in this early stage. However, the term youyi does not have the sentimental connotations of the western word for friendship. Chinese associates in business or in institutions use this term to describe the respectful interactions and relations between colleagues which also includes due respect for rank and position.

In business relationships, the Chinese expect the type of long-term trust, practical dependency, and mutual obligation that they associate with guanxi. This explains why people who have been doing business in China for a long time are more likely to be favoured when new business opportunities arise. They are trusted old friends with whom obligations have been built up.

Naturally, westerners see it differently. However, this is the reality in China. This is where the opposite number is coming from, and it is up to the westerner to understand and accommodate to this fact. Teaching the Chinese person how to negotiate according to western rules will inevitably result in disappointment and possibly failure. The Chinese will make their own accommodations in time.

It is still early (WTO) days. It took Britain centuries to develop their system of commercial law. China has come a long way in just a few decades.

Some research on this topic

Some time ago a group of social scientists conducted a survey of Chinese values. They asked Chinese social scientists to prepare a list of 10 fundamental and basic values for Chinese people. This composite list includes their responses, and is in no particular order. It may help you to better understand Chinese people and their values:

• Patience        
• Sense of cultural superiority
• Adaptability                                                    
• Prudence (carefulness)
• Having a sense of shame                          
• Contentedness with one’s position in life
• Close, intimate friendship                          
• Having few desires
• Knowledge (education)                              
• Solidarity with others
• Self-cultivation                                              
• Respect for tradition
• Non-competitiveness                                  
• Resistance to corruption
• Sincerity                                                          
• Thrift
• Persistence (perseverance)                      
• Trustworthiness
• Courtesy                                                          
• Being conservative
• Protecting your “face”                                    
• Chastity in women
• Repayment of good or evil                          
• Ordering relationships by status

The good news: Chinese and western people have a lot in common. With a little tolerance and understanding, the differences can be managed.

Chapter 2. Culture shock

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Sir Edmund Hilary knew his own weaknesses and strengths as well as Mount Everest’s dangerous environment. He increased his chances of survival and success by understanding the internal (physiological & psychological) and external (geographic & meteorological) realities that confronted him. He reached his goal by first understanding, and then adapting to his environment.

This is how we can succeed in China: by understanding ourselves and our environment.

Culture shock is a well-known but little understood term. Although most people have heard of it, few people understand what it means. Recent research has taken a closer look at this phenomenon, and as a result we understand it a little better. Now we know for sure what it is and how it can be managed.

If we hope to adapt to life in China, we need more than abstract information on the external realities which confront us in a foreign culture. We also need detailed information on the internal reactions we may experience from time to time when confronted by something that is outside the range of our previous experience. Reactions which we may have difficulty understanding and making sense of.

These reactions may include, for example: anxiety, alcohol abuse, depression, emotional/psychological crises, extreme anger, interpersonal and social difficulties, fatigue, loss of identity, irrational suspicion, uncomfortable physiological reactions, stress, and uncharacteristic changes in behavior.

All change is stressful, and culture shock is a normal reaction to change, although we may not think so at the time. Culture shock is not a mental illness, and with a little self-knowledge it can be managed successfully. Being aware of the typical reactions to cultural shock helps adaptation. We can then re-interpret difficult situations in light of this awareness, and work towards developing useful coping strategies.

This chapter looks at the nature, stages, and causes of cultural shock, and provides guidelines for managing cultural shock experiences.

Content:

• Description.
• Characteristics.
• Phases of culture shock.
• Causes of culture shock.
• Strategies for dealing with culture shock.
• Resolution.

Description

What is Culture shock? Here is a simple definition: Culture shock results from the stress of living in another culture. Culture shock may be recognised in psychological crises and social dysfunctions.

The circumstances provoking cultural shock and the individual reactions depend on a variety of factors, including:

• Previous experience with other cultures and cross-cultural adaptation;
• The degree of difference between one’s own and the host culture;
• The degree of preparation; ·
• Social support networks; and,
• Individual psychological characteristics.

Culture shock is normal in a foreign culture environment, although those experiencing it may not think so at the time. Being aware of the typical reactions to cultural shock helps adaptation. Culture shock is caused in part by cognitive (intellectual or ‘thinking’) overload and behavioral inadequacies.

Because inter-cultural effectiveness is based on both ‘understanding’ and ‘behavioral adaptation’, culture shock is best resolved by learning new attitudes which in turn should lead to behaviour change.

Characteristics

Culture shock is a consequence of: the stress experienced as result of contact with a new culture; and the feelings of loss, confusion, and impotence that result from the loss of accustomed cultural cues and social rules.

Culture shock derives from both the challenge of new cultural surroundings and from the loss of a familiar cultural environment.

Culture shock stress responses cause both psychological and physiological reactions.

Psychological reactions include physiological, emotional, interpersonal, cognitive, and social components, as well as the effects resulting from changes in socio-cultural relations, cognitive fatigue, role stress, and identity loss.

Phases of culture shock

The phases are both sequential and cyclical. The shift from crises to adjustment and adaptation can repeat as we encounter new crises, requiring additional adjustments.

A person may be regarded as ‘bi-cultural’, when the adaptation phase is a permanent stage.

Headings:

• The honeymoon or tourist phase .
• The crises or cultural shock phase.
• The adjustment, reorientation, and gradual recovery phase.
• The adaptation, resolution, or acculturation phase.

The honeymoon or tourist phase.

The first phase is the typical experience of people who enter other cultures for honeymoons, vacations, or brief business trips. It is characterized by interest, excitement, euphoria, sleeplessness, positive expectations, and idealizations about the new culture. The differences are exciting and interesting. Although there may be anxiety and stress, these tend to be interpreted positively.

This is the opposite of what we think of as cultural shock. This is because honeymooners, vacationers, and business people have experiences largely limited to institutions (hotels, resorts, business, airports) that isolate them from having to deal with the local culture in a substantial way and on its own terms.

The crisis phase.

Exactly when the honeymoon phase gives way to crisis, depends on individual characteristics, preparation, and many other factors. The crisis phase may emerge immediately upon arrival, or be delayed, but generally emerges within a few weeks to a month. It may start with a full-blown crisis or as a series of escalating problems, negative experiences, and reactions.

Although individual reactions vary, there are typical features of cultural shock: e.g., Things start to go wrong, minor issues become major problems, and cultural differences become irritating.

Excessive preoccupation with cleanliness of food, drinking water, bedding, and surroundings begins. We experience increasing disappointments, frustrations, impatience, and tension. Life does not make sense and we may feel helpless, confused, disliked by others, or treated like a child.

A sense of lack of control over one’s own life may lead to depression, isolation, anger, or hostility. Excessive emotionality and fatigue may be accompanied by physical or psycho-somatic illness.

Feeling as if one is being taken advantage of or being cheated is typical. Becoming overly sensitive, suspicious, and paranoid with fears of being robbed or assaulted are also typical reactions. We find innumerable reasons to dislike and to criticize the culture. Plans for learning the language may be postponed, problems escalate, and depression may become serious. There may be an urge to go home.

Typical of this stage are efforts to re-establishing familiar cultural patterns of behavior in order to insulate oneself from the foreign culture.

The adjustment and reorientation phase.

The third phase is concerned with learning how to adjust effectively to the new cultural environment. Learning how to adapt to the new culture will ease culture shock. A variety of adjustments will be made during cyclical and individually unique adjustment phases. There may be an adjustment without adaptation, such as flight or isolation. For example; living in an ethnic enclave and avoiding substantial learning about the new culture.

If we want to function effectively however, then it is necessary to adjust and adapt. Having a positive attitude to the new culture’s ways is a good start. Developing problem-solving skills for addressing difficulties is a good way to move forward.

After awhile, the culture begins to make sense, and negative reactions and responses to the culture are reduced as we recognize that many problems are due to an inability to understand, accept, and adapt. An appreciation of the other culture begins to emerge and learning about it becomes an interesting exercise.

During the adjustment phase, although the problems do not end, we develop a positive attitude toward meeting the challenges which confront us. Adjustment can slow, involving recurrent crises and readjustments.

The adaptation, resolution, or acculturation stage.

The fourth stage is achieved when we demonstrate stable patterns of adaptation to the new culture. Although full assimilation is improbable, it is likely that this process of adaptation will induce some personal changes as we overcome the challenges and develop a bi-cultural identity.

Causes of culture shock

Headings:

• Stress reactions.
• Cognitive (thinking) fatigue.
• Role shock.
• Personal shock.

Stress reactions.

Exposure to a new environment is psychologically stressful. Stress also induces a wide range of physiological reactions involving: hyper-arousal of the sympathetic nervous system; impairment of the functioning of the immune system; and increased susceptibility to all diseases.

Stress causes involuntary psychological and physiological reactions. This is a normal consequence of living in and adjusting to a new culture.

Cognitive fatigue.

A major aspect of cultural shock and the resultant stress is cognitive fatigue, a consequence of information overload. The new culture demands a conscious effort to understand things that are usually processed unconsciously in our own culture. It is tiring having to interpret new language meanings and new nonverbal, behavioral, contextual, and social communications.

The change from a normally automatic, unconscious, and effortless functioning within our own culture, to the conscious effort and attention required to understand all this new information, is fatiguing. It can result in a mental and emotional fatigue which is usually described as burnout.

Role shock.

Roles central to our identity may be lost in the new culture. Changes in social roles and interpersonal relations affect well-being and self-concept, resulting in role-shock.

In the new cultural setting, prior roles may be eliminated and replaced with unfamiliar roles and expectations. This can lead to role shock resulting from: an ambiguity about one’s social position, the loss of normal social relations and roles, and new roles inconsistent with our previous self-concept.

For instance: dependence relations may no longer be supported; or conversely, a previously independent person may have to accept a dependent relationship with an authority figure. This is more likely to occur in China because of the cultural tradition which assigns all individuals to some particular level in a hierarchy. It is difficult to find equal relationships (as we understand them in the west) in Confucian China.

Personal shock.

This results from the many changes in our personal life. For example; loss of personal intimacy, and loss of interpersonal contact with significant others. This can be similar to separation grief and bereavement.

Our psychological disposition, self-esteem, identity, feelings of well-being, and satisfaction with life are all created within and maintained by our own cultural system. Losing this support system can lead to a deterioration in our sense of well-being and lead to problems such as a temporary emotional disorder.

More critical cases have symptoms resembling acute psychosis with paranoid features. Severe symptoms of cultural shock may include withdrawal and excessive sleeping, compulsive eating and drinking, excessive irritability and hostility, marital and family tensions and conflicts, loss of work effectiveness, and unaccountable episodes of crying.

Although these symptoms can characterize a variety of other maladies, if they occur while we are living and working abroad, it is a safe bet to conclude that they are signs of culture shock.

Being aware of these more severe aspects of culture shock can help us to manage the process of cultural adaptation.

Personal shock can be aggravated by occurrences in the new culture which violate one’s own sense of basic morals, values, logic, and beliefs about normality and civility. Value conflicts can contribute to a sense of disorientation and unreality, which can in turn heighten a sense of conflict with our surroundings. For example: challenges to our values about personal privacy, and public corruption may provoke this type of shock.

Strategies for dealing with culture shock.

Firstly, we need to understand the phenomenon of culture shock. We need to acquire skills for resolving crises; and we must accept that some personal change and behavioural adjustment is necessary for cultural shock resolution and adaptation.

This is not to say that we must assimilate. Rather, we must understand the local culture in order to adapt. Adaptation requires suspending some culturally based reactions in order to become more tolerant of the local culture.

This does not mean that we must give up our identity, values, or culture. It is possible to manage culture shock without making major changes to our personality or pre-existing lifestyle.

The challenge we face, is how to succeed in this intimidating environment without relying on our usual supports. Edmund Hillary must have felt this way when he first considered climbing Everest.

Headings:

• Pre-departure preparation.
• Transition adjustments.
• Personal and social relations.
• Cultural and social interactions rules.
• Conflict resolution skills.

Pre-departure preparation:

Self-assessment of our ability to adapt to a new culture is a good first step before we get on the plane. Not everybody is equally prepared to face the rigors of cultural shock and adaptation. Some people simply are not prepared to make the necessary changes that will assist acculturation.

Cultural shock can be minimised by preparing for problems beforehand, and by gathering resources that will promote coping and adjustment. Studying the nature of social behavior in the new culture is a good way to prepare for the types of behaviors we will have to deal with. Being aware of the ‘value-conflicts’ which may be encountered is essential.

An open-minded attitude about the new culture, and a willingness to change, are vital for adjustment. It is better to acknowledge the benefits of living in a different culture and to have a positive attitude about that culture, rather than complain or make comparisons with life back at home.

We must also be prepared to deal with personal rejection, prejudice, and discrimination. All cultures are ethnocentric, and their members typically view their own cultural ways as superior. Psychological preparation for this outsider status is essential, because sooner or later, most people who are immersed in a foreign culture experience a negative evaluation of their differences, and a rejection by some members of the host culture.

Transition adjustments:

Successful adjustment also depends on the availability of transition resources which are necessary for a comfortable adaptation to the new culture. The need for physical well-being, food, and security, must be met if we are to meet work requirements and address subsequent needs for social relations, self-esteem, and personal development. Assistance in managing these fundamentals frees the individual to focus on cultural adaptation issues.

Stress management is central to cross-cultural adaptation. Maintenance behaviors such as speaking one’s own language, eating familiar foods, reading familiar newspapers online, and books from home, interacting with fellow nationals, and emailing or phoning home, are helpful. Anything that reinforces one’s sense of self. The internet is valuable tool.

Personal and social relations:

Managing cultural shock requires that we maintain or re-establish a network of primary relations such as family or friends who can support our emotional, social, and personal needs. We need to understand how social relations are conducted in the new culture. For example, foreigners adapting to China should learn that Chinese people are less likely to form superficial friendships than is typical in, say, the USA. Strong commitments and obligations can be attached to friendships in China.

Successful cross-cultural adaptation means that one becomes bi-cultural, integrating one’s original identity with a new identity which is created in the new culture. This can be achieved by cognitive flexibility (openness to new ideas, beliefs, and experiences and the ability to accept these new conditions) and behavioral flexibility (the ability to change behavior as required by the culture).

Cultural and social interaction rules:

Although knowing the local language is a quick way to understand a new culture, most of us arrive in China with little knowledge of Mandarin or Putonghua (standard Chinese language).

A good first step is to focus on non-verbal behaviour patterns. Watching Chinese films or local TV is an entertaining way to do this. Later, when we have learned a few words, we can add them to these familiar behaviours. It’s a great way to learn the social ‘rules’. That, and reading anything you can find on the subject will assist the process of adaptation.

The best way however, is to get out there and ‘mix-it’ with the locals. Get out of your insulated hotel or compound, or your comfortable apartment block, and participate in the daily life around you. Go for long walks around the city and observe everything. Say hello to people. It’s the best way to cope with any staring. You will always get a lovely smile in response. Break the ice and risk-it. Take charge and be pro-active in getting to know your local community. Believe me, these ordinary folk are more frightened of you than you are of them.

Do not worry about your terrible Chinese language or about committing some unforgiveable social sin. In fact, Chinese people will appreciate your effort to communicate and will feel flattered by the attention you give them. Try this and see.

Resolution: Conflict resolution and inter-cultural skills.

To adapt successfully, we need to accept the fact that it is normal to face problems in a new culture. We must also seek solutions for problems rather than deny their existence. Adjustment to culture shock can be eased by a problem-solving approach that: anticipates difficult social situations; analyses conflicts and identifies problems; and develops ways of resolving unpleasant experiences.

Escalation of any culture conflict should be avoided. Understand that each person is behaving in a way which he thinks is correct and meaningful within his own culture.

Persons who adapt successfully to another culture have the following characteristics. They: manage psychological stress; communicate effectively; establish interpersonal relationships; understand and adjust to the new culture; and, can operate in two different social systems.

Conclusion:

Cultural shock is best resolved with an analytical approach that:

• Anticipates particular personal conflicts;
• Identifies the causes of conflict; and,
• Uses a problem-solving technique to resolve difficulties.

Chapter 3. Business: some sensitive topics.

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Content:

• The squeeze.
• Protect yourself first.
• Always behave ethically.
• Understand the cultural environment you work in.

The squeeze

Corruption is a controversial topic that is worth mentioning, although I will probably get hung for doing so (I live in China, folks). Nevertheless, it is a reality that must be acknowledged, regardless of what damage it might do to China’s face. The majority of Chinese people are honest, and I ask you to keep this fact in mind as I address this sensitive issue. Not to do so, would be failing in my duty to help foreigners adapt to this complex culture.

The ’squeeze’. Everybody says they deplore it, but everybody participates in it to varying degrees. They have no choice. Some folk minimise its importance, or even deny its existence. But as everybody knows but may not acknowledge, it is endemic in China. A remnant of feudal society. If it is any consolation Africa and Russia are worse. Far worse.

For example; if I want a doctor to write a report giving me a clean bill of health and disregard medical evidence to the contrary, the colour of my renminbi will soon locate one. If I want a Safety License for my premises before I open for business, I might be advised to pay the‘squeeze’ money, or there will be no setting up shop for me. If I want my child to get into a good school or university, even though his results do not merit this opportunity, a fat wad of notes offered to the right person will see to that.

And on and on it goes: from medical care and education, to occupational health and safety. From government licenses and permits to the monitoring of food products and the inspection of machinery, to promotion in the police and the military – corruption is a fact of life. A consequence of the abuse of patronage and power by a system that is accountable only to itself. True, the central government is trying to clean it up, but they are failing because the perpetrators regard the practice as a culturally sanctioned way of taking care of their extended family responsibilities. Family comes first, not community, county, or country. Should the poorest of the poor rise to positions of power, they also would behave the same way.

Some people have stated baldly that corruption is helpful to an economy in that it ‘gets things done’ and so on. In fact, the reverse is true. Professors of economics and of commerce (Chinese and Western) agree that there is no scientific evidence to support the notion that corruption greases the wheels of commerce. Corruption greases palms, not wheels. End of story.

I repeat, I am not suggesting that everyone in China is corrupt. Far from it. There are folk in this civilized nation who are the epitome of grace, integrity, and honesty. These exemplars of traditional Chinese culture and its values can be found in all strata of society. In particular, among educated folk, and honest toilers like villagers, workers, and peasants. But these folk have been intimidated into silence. It is not worth the trouble to take the big guys on because of their protective ‘web’ of self-interest. One way or another, they are all linked to each other. They run the joint, and all too often they run the joint for themselves. 

What about the law, I hear you say? Well, you can intimidate the law also if you are powerful enough. The Party controls all aspects of the law. There is no separation of powers as we understand this term in the West. My advice is to have your contracts prepared by expensive lawyers in Hong Kong.

The guys to look out for are local government officials and small businessmen who regard graft as a legitimate activity, and whose status and standard of living are dependent on it. 

Prior to Deng Xiao Ping’s opening and reform, Chinese people used to look down on so-called businessmen who were notorious for their dishonesty. Those uneducated land-sharks who believed that the only way to make money was by cheating someone, and who never considered learning how to do business: “you only need to cheat a person once…for you will never see that person again” was their philosophy.

A sad business then, and an even sadder business now, as their minority successors exploit a larger market of the innocent, the gullible, and the trusting. The victims of these anti-social predators are mostly Chinese people. People who have forgotten the first rule of behaviour for Chinese people in an adult world: ‘Protect yourself first’.

Protect yourself first

The ‘squeeze’ is everywhere. Be careful. Business is doing well these days, businessmen are better educated, and consequently, the status of businessmen has risen. Although this is good for China and the rest of the world, and although most businessmen are not cheats, there are still too many sharks in China who would like to take a bite out of you and your enterprise. 

Although the central government has passed laws prohibiting this kind of behaviour, and although the central government occasionally makes an example of a big-fish who is caught (e.g., the mayor of Shanghai in 2006), the problem lies with enforcement. A problem faced by many governments of developing nations as they struggle to deal with the unintended consequences of rapid economic growth.

It’s a bit like trying to tell a tiger to slow down and be careful while you are hanging on for dear life as it leaps ahead into the unknown. Will the tiger listen to you? Of course not. This is a problem that even the good ole’ USA experienced early last century as it enjoyed its own rapid economic growth phase. It’s a developmental thing.

These problems will be managed when the growth spurt slows and the government can pay more attention to the ‘how-to’ part of building an harmonious society. It is instructive to recall Deng’s notorious response to the question: “But won’t opening up the economy increase the opportunity for corruption?” His answer: “when you open a window, a few flies get in,” should remind us of the attitude to corruption in this country. 

Always behave ethically

An open mind and adaptive responses are the key to survival anywhere. The foreigner who is intellectually flexible and who learns generalised coping strategies for a different environment will survive and thrive. The foreigner who cannot change his thinking and behaviour will fail. The foreigner who understands that there is no universal moral base-line to appeal to will adapt and succeed whereas the foreigner who is moralistic and rigid will fail. This kind of personality should never live and work in a foreign culture.

Chinese or western, nationality is irrelevant. Individual personality or coping style is what counts most. Having said this, individual behaviour should always be guided by personal ethics. The same goes for companies. Professor Longstaff, who advises Australian companies on the ethics of doing business overseas, acknowledges that more Australian businesses are having to grapple with prickly questions of working conditions and corruption in China as Australia’s engagement with China grows.

He says those companies who are making the effort to get it right, are providing a powerful example and are having an impact on corporate culture in China. “That kind of smart ethical behaviour, to be sensitive and engaged and to prosper with your principles intact, is a wonderfully powerful example that many people will be attracted to and seek to emulate.” Good advice. Timely advice for foreign companies which, like the athletes who might be tempted to take performance enhancing drugs in order to compete against the unfair advantage that the drug cheats enjoy, might also be tempted to engage in corrupt practices in order to compete against the unfair advantage that their corrupt competitors enjoy. 

Understand the cultural environment

Always remember that China is an ancient, complex, and culturally strong society with its own ways of doing things. Ways which are sometimes difficult for a westerner to understand. Being aware of this fact is a first step towards cultural and commercial adaptation.

But some things are non-negotiable, and foreign enterprises should also have pride in their own way of doing things. Foreign businesses should not have to sell their soul in order to be successful in China. Chinese enterprises can learn a lot from the way foreign enterprises do business. If they want to be successful globally, then it is imperative that they do so.

It is a good idea to seek advice from a western professional who understands China. Putting things in their historical and cultural context, can save a lot of unnecessary frustration. Frustration which may lead to wasted time, unproductive behaviour, and an anaemic-looking bottom line.

A little knowledge of Chinese history can also help. History provides context for present behaviour. Chinese people believe in themselves and in the value and strength of their traditions. Although they will adopt useful ideas, practices, and so on from the west, history says that they will absorb them into their ancient culture rather than be overwhelmed by them. They will do it their way.

How is this relevant? Here is an example: although modern western organisational structures are being adopted by joint-venture partnerships in China, this does not necessarily mean that the operating culture of the original (Chinese) business will change accordingly. If the notionally more efficient western structure is simply grafted on to traditional ways of thinking and behaviour, it may not produce the desired efficiencies. This can be a problem for the western half of a joint-venture.

For example; a western manager or supervisor will separate private relationships and responsibilities from professional matters and will focus on system efficiencies and outcomes. He is task oriented. His Chinese counterpart however, may not enjoy this luxury. He is locked into a complex web of relationships which he brings to work with him every day. He may be expected to use his power and patronage for the benefit of others inside and outside the company who are part of his web. His responsibilities may be lateral (the web) as well as vertical (the company). There is no separation between the two. He is relationship as well as task oriented. A modern, western, flatter, management structure which looks good on paper may include hidden feudal hierarchies.

Some more gratuitous advice: a little paranoia can help. Never accept everything at face-value. Remember the web, and remind yourself that the person you are dealing with may be a front man for a sophisticated network of relationships and responsibilities. He has his own ‘guanxi’ and his own difficulties with these matters. Appreciate that his balancing act may be more difficult to perform than that of any circus performer. He has less room to move and further to fall.

The same goes for that new friend you just made. There are many good and genuine friends to be made in China. Sadly however, there are also ‘friends’ here who wish to gain some advantage from their association with you. They will disappear after they have got what they want from you, and laugh about your gullibility behind your back. Although this type of behaviour exists in the west, it appears to be more common here in China.

And be careful of any promises that may be made in an effort to entice you. They are bait. My experience is that they will be eroded or whittled down over time. My advice? Do not wait for this to happen. Insist on fulfillment of the promise as soon as practicable. These opinions are based on information gained from Chinese colleagues, western associates, genuine friends, and personal experience over a period of five years.

China: “A little paranoia never hoitya” (apologies to Groucho Marx). .

Conclusion:

• Protect yourself first.
• Always behave ethically.
• Understand the cultural environment you are working in.
• Do some homework on Chinese culture.

Chapter 4. Stress: what is it?

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Content:

• Stress is a normal part of life.
• Good stress and bad stress.
• What is stress?
• What are the signs?
• Can we manage stress?
• What happens if we do not manage stress?
• How can we manage stress?
• Thinking and stress.
• Some practical suggestions for managing stress
• Stress test.

Stress is a normal part of life

Living in another culture can be stressful. However, it is useful to know that from ancient times to today’s modern times, man has always experienced stress in one form or another. Each generation, and each person, has experienced stress. Although the cause of the stress may have been different, the result is always the same.

For example; your mouth and throat might be dry, and you might clench your teeth or hold your jaw very tightly, even in your sleep. Perhaps your breathing is fast and shallow. You might remember that during previous times of high stress, you were more vulnerable to catching a cold or the flu. Maybe you suffered from headaches, backaches, excess wind in your intestines, or heartburn. In some cases, people suffer from more severe symptoms such as constriction of the blood vessels in their arms and legs. This increases the heart rate and raises blood pressure, sometimes to dangerously high levels. High stress can even deposit fat in your midsection!

Good stress and bad stress

There is good stress and bad stress. Good stress can be compared to the electricity which illuminates your home, operates you refrigerator, and turns on your computer. Good stress can help to make your life more enjoyable and interesting. It can provide stimulation and challenges, and is essential for development, growth, and change. Good stress can help you to function normally in a complex environment. It can help you to cope with the changes, pressures, demands, and challenges that you face every day.

Bad stress can also be compared to electricity. For example; a power surge during an electrical storm can blow the light bulbs in your apartment, burn out the electrical motor in your refrigerator, and destroy data on your hard-drive. Too much electricity can damage your electrical appliances. Too much stress can cause you to ‘burn-out’ also.

For example: you can become so overwhelmed with work, change, and other stressors that your brain and body are unable to function normally. It can make you anxious and irritable, lower your spirit, and shorten your life. And when you feel this way, you can çrash just like your computer does when it is overwhelmed with too much information, or is trying to do too many tasks at the same time. Bad stress is harmful to our health.

What is stress?

Here is a definition of stress which I hope is not too difficult to understand: “Stress is the psychological and physiological reaction that happens when there is an imbalance between the demands placed on you, and your capacity to meet those demands.” This means that you are facing a big challenge, and you are not sure if you have the ability to meet it.

This definition makes sense to me because I can identify with it. For example: although I enjoy my work as a psychologist, sometimes I commit myself to more work than I can comfortably manage. When this happens, I feel overwhelmed by my responsibilities, and can spend more time worrying about my work than doing my work. The imbalance between the demands of my job, and my capacity to meet those demands, causes me to suffer from stress. Perhaps you can recall similar experiences in your own life.

In many ways, managing stress is a balancing act as you walk a tightrope between the stimulating challenge of doing something that you perceive to be within your capabilities; and the nagging fear that this task might be beyond your capabilities. Balancing the enjoyment of the challenge against the fear of failure. Keeping the pressure at a manageable level. This is good stress, and this type of stress can help you to achieve your goals.

However, if the pressures you face are excessive, then you may become dis-tressed. That is: you may be overwhelmed by these pressures and become ‘stressed’ or ‘stressed-out’. This is bad stress, and this is the type of stress we will refer to from now on.

Some examples of high-stress situations:

• Students during exams.
• Divorce.
• Death of a loved one.
• Marriage problems.
• Problems at work.
• Loss of job.
• Change.
• Post-trauma (e.g., earthquake, typhoon, civil-strife…emotional, physical, & sexual abuse).

Signs of too much stress?

Medical research has shown that too much stress can damage our internal organs and affect our immune system. If our immune system is impaired, this means that we are more vulnerable to illness and disease. Therefore we should be alert for any signs that can tell us if our stress levels are rising.

These signs fall into three categories: 1 Emotional signs; 2 Behavioural signs; and, 3 Physical signs.

1. Emotional signs:

• Anxiety.
• Apathy
• Irritability.
• Mental fatigue.

2. Behavioural signs:

• Avoidance of responsibilities and relationships.
• Self-neglect. (e.g., neglect of personal appearance. diet, and so on).
• Poor judgement.
• Self-destructive behaviour (e.g., alcohol abuse etc).

3. Physical signs:

• Worry about illness.
• Frequent illness.
• Exhaustion.
• Complaints about body aches and pains.
• Overuse of medicines.

These signs are warnings to us that there is too much stress in our lives and that we need to do something about it. Point: if we don’t do something about our high levels of stress, then our health will suffer.

Can we manage our stress?

Yes we can! (apologies to President Obama). The good news is that it is possible for us to manage our stress levels if we take control of the things in our life that we can control (e.g., time, diet, exercise, relaxation, alcohol, sleep, and so on…).

Although we may not be able to change some of the things in our environment which cause our stress (e.g., our future, our boss, our work, and so on…), we can change the way we react to these things.

We can also change the way we think about stress. How we think affects how we feel, and how we feel affects how we behave. Negative or pessimistic thinking affects our mood, and bad moods affect our behaviour. This is an important point, because much of the stress that we experience in our lives is a result of how we think about the things which create stress in our lives.

Let me illustrate this point with two examples: two people in the same workplace have the same job, the same boss, and the same demands on them to produce good work. However, Person A does not manage his stress as well as Person B. Can you guess why?

Person A: John Red feels overwhelmed by the task in front of him. He doubts his ability to cope with the amount of work that is expected of him, and worries about what might happen to him in the future if he is unable to live up to the expectations of his boss. He notices that his colleague does his job very well, and thinks that if he is not as good as his colleague, he may not be able to keep his job. He is not well organized.

Person B: In contrast, Jack Green tells himself: “yes, this is a difficult task. However, I believe that I have the skills to do this job well. I expect that there will be disappointments and frustrations, but I will do my best to overcome them when they happen. In the meantime, I will not waste time worrying about what bad things might happen in the future. Instead, I will focus on doing my job to the best of my ability. I will take each day as it comes, and not worry about what might or might not happen tomorrow. I will compete against myself rather than my colleagues, and try hard to improve my performance.”

John is not well-organised. He reacts to daily events rather than anticipating and preparing for them. He has little sense of control over his work environment, and wastes a lot of energy on unproductive or less important tasks. He does not prioritise. He allows small irritants as well as big problems to frustrate and anger him, and does not deal well with these emotions. Consequently, he feels exhausted at the end of each day, and sometimes wonders how long he can keep working at this fast pace. He complains that his job is too demanding and blames others for his failures.

Jack anticipates problems before they happen and develops strategies for dealing with unexpected as well as expected events. He organizes his work environment so that he has some control over it. For example: he schedules his working week, and manages his time well; he does not try to do too many tasks simultaneously; and he leaves some room in his busy schedule for ‘thinking’ time. He pays attention to the most important issues first, and attends to the less important matters later. His sense of control over his work helps him to manage the inevitable stresses that his work imposes on him. Although he may feel tired at the end of each day, he is usually satisfied with his performance. He feels that his work is meaningful and worthwhile. He rewards himself for his successes.

You don’t need a high IQ to recognize which person will suffer from high levels of stress. John is responsible for most of the stress that he endures each day, and as a consequence his productivity is less than it should be. He is also at risk for suffering from a stress-related illness.

In contrast, Jack demonstrates a more organized approach to his work. He is stimulated by the challenges which face him and is happier and more productive than his colleague. He has a good chance of remaining physically and mentally healthy.

What happens if we don’t manage stress?  

If we do not manage our stress, we may become vulnerable to a stress-related illness or disease. Think back to the last time you were severely stressed. After the stress eased, can you recall if you got a cold, the flu, or some other illness? This often happens to people after a stressful period in their lives.

Why does this happen? Let me use the electricity analogy again: Imagine that you are an electric heating system, and that your job is to heat all the rooms in your house. It is a very cold evening, the children are asleep in their bedroom, and the parents of the house decide to turn up the heating in the dining room because they have guests over for dinner. They want their guests to feel comfortable, so they turn up the heat from ‘Medium’ to ‘High’. However, the supply of electricity to the house is regulated; it is limited to a certain rate of flow each day. This means that when the parents turn up the heat in the dining room, more electricity is drawn away from other areas of the house.

In this case, although the parents succeed in making their guests warm and comfortable on a very cold evening, their children in the bedrooms experience a cold night. The unintended consequence of this transfer of energy is that the children caught a cold the next day.

Our bodies have a limited supply of energy. When we are faced with a stressful period in our lives, we need extra energy to deal with it. So we draw energy from other areas of our body in order to cope with the extra demands that are placed on us by the stress. Usually, we succeed in meeting the immediate challenge successfully because the extra energy we received helps us to do this. But the supply of energy is limited, and this process leaves less energy for other areas of the body. In particular, the immune system is deprived of the energy it needs to do its job of protecting the body from illness and disease. This is why, after we have managed to cope with a stressful period in our lives, we are more likely to get sick.

Now imagine that you are living your life in a state of perpetual stress. High stress. Every day. What do you think could be the result of this lifestyle? You don’t have to be a genius to understand that eventually, your immune system will not have the energy available to protect you from serious illness and disease. Medical science has demonstrated that there is a link between too much stress and psycho-somatic illnesses (‘psycho’ means mind, and ‘soma’ means body), so what I say here is fact: If our minds are burdened with too much stress, our bodies get sick. These illnesses are real physical illnesses. They are not imaginary. People sometimes die from them.

Let’s take a look at some of these illnesses. I have divided them into two groups: 1 Minor illnesses; and, 2 Major illnesses.

1. Minor illnesses (some examples):

• Sore muscles.
• Headaches.
• Neckaches.
• Backaches.
• Indigestion.
• Constipation.
• Chronic dirhoea.
• Fatigue.
• Insomnia.
• Menstrual problems.

2. Major illnesses (some examples):

• Gastro-intestinal illness (e.g., stomach cancer).
• Respiratory disease (e.g., pneumonia)
• Skin rash.
• Migraine headaches.
• Rheumatoid arthritis.
• Hypertension.
• Colitis.
• Heart disease

Frightening, isn’t it. So what can we do about it? How can we reduce the risk of suffering from a stress-related illness or disease? Answer: we can learn how to manage the stress in our lives.

How can we manage stress?

How are you coping? There are two main strategies for coping with stress, and the choice of strategy depends on the type of stress we are confronted with. They are: 1. Problem focused coping; and, 2. Emotion focused coping.

1. Problem Focused Coping:

This coping strategy is used when you know that you can manage the situation which causes the stress. Gaining some control over the the situation helps to reduce your stress.

Example 1: You have an exam next month. Although you cannot avoid taking this exam, you have time to prepare for it: e.g., you can organise your study environment; develop a study plan; and schedule your time.

Example 2: You have a deadline to meet. Although your boss demands that you have your project completed before the company director’s meeting next week, you can restructure your schedule so that you have enough time to complete this important task. If necessary, you can sleep at the office rather than at home if this will help you to finish your project on time. You have choices.

Example 3: You are a manager, and you have a problem with a member of your staff who cannot work well in a team. His behaviour is affecting staff morale, and this is beginning to affect productivity. This increases your stress because your task is to improve the efficiency of your department. However, there are things you can do to change this stressful situation. You have choices: e.g., you can help him to change his attitude with a one-on-one discussion in private; you can employ a consultant to train all staff on teamwork; or as a last resort, you can fire him and replace him with someone else. You can deal with this problem.

2. Emotion Focused Coping:

This coping strategy is used when you are faced with a stressful situation which you cannot control. You cannot change anything. Question: what can you do about it? Answer: you can change the way you react to the situation. This will reduce your stress.

Example 1: Your teacher has just told you that there will be an exam today. You have no time to prepare for it. The only thing you can do is manage your emotional reaction. If you panic, your stress will interfere with your thinking and your memory. It is better to accept this unpleasant reality and focus on calming your emotions so that you can do your best in this unavoidable stressful situation.

Example 2: You have an important meeting with a client in his office in downtown Shanghai. However, your taxi is caught in the middle of a traffic jam, and it looks like you will be late. What can you do about this situation which you cannot control? You have two choices: you can either become frustrated and angry and allow this uncontrollable situation to control you and your emotions; or you can concentrate on calming your emotions so that you can do something productive while you wait. Perhaps you could use this extra time to rehearse what you have to say to your client.

Example 3: You are overwhelmed by economic and social change. The rate of change is so fast that you do not think that you can keep up with it. Here is another situation which you cannot control. Again, you have two choices: you can either feel powerless and resentful, or you can adapt to the reality of so much change.

Persons who cannot manage the stress of this adaptation may drift into the despair of depression and become irrelevant bystanders to the process of change and renewal which is occurring around them.

In contrast, persons who accept that all change is somewhat stressful, will have a more psychologically healthy attitude towards society in general and their own lives in particular. These are the resilient folk who will survive and thrive. Change in itself is neither good nor bad. What is important is how we cope with change. Or how we think about change:

Thinking and stress

Have you heard of the term: “Self-fulfilling prophecy”? Basically, this means that if a person thinks that he is either incapable or capable of doing something, then his achievements and his life will reflect that attitude.

So, if you believe that life is too difficult and that you will never succeed in life because of these difficulties or obstacles, then that is what will happen. You will not succeed. Your prediction for yourself will come true.

In contrast, although reality tells you that life has its problems, if you believe that you can cope with most of them, you are more likely to succeed in overcoming those obstacles. Your prediction will come true.

Let me illustrate this point with two examples: John Red and Jack Green.

John thinks negative thoughts. He is pessimistic. He worries about all the bad things that can happen to him. He believes that life is always stressful, and that the future will not bring any change for the better.

Jack thinks positive thoughts. He is optimistic. Although he accepts that bad things can happen, he has a better attitude to life and its stresses, and believes that the future will be better.

Which person do you think is correct: John or Jack? The answer is: both of them!

The self-fulfilling prophecy will make sure of that. John will fail, and Jack will succeed. As Henry Ford said: “whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t…you are absolutely right!”

Recent medical and psychological research supports this observation. Just as nutritionists have been telling us for years that we are what we eat, now we have psychologists telling us that we are what we think. To a westerner, this idea is revolutionary, and the implications of this research are changing the way that westerners look at physical illness and disease.

We are what we think. What is so special about this observation? Let me tell you the answer: western science has simply proved something that Chinese philosophers such as Kung Zi, Meng Zi, and Sun Zi advocated a long time ago: namely; that there is an inseparable relationship between the mind and the body. The mind and the body are connected.

Pause and think for a moment about the implications of this idea: The western notion of a mind-body dichotomy is now discredited. There is a measurable relationship between the mind and the body. A cause and effect relationship if you like. A relationship that the ancient Chinese sages knew something about all those years ago.

Question: How can this help highly stressed people today? Answer: When facing modern problems, people should be guided by ancient wisdom (not myths) as well as modern science.

For example: Buddha said, “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.” In other words: if you change your thinking, you can change your life. Change your thinking about stress, and as a result boost your immune system and protect yourself from illness and disease.

Traditional Chinese culture is a gold mine of ideas and practices which can help you to adapt to and cope with rapid change and its consequences. For example: Taoist thought, Shaolin practices, T’ai Qi, and so on. Western cultures also have their fine traditions which can be tapped into.

Just a thought.

How to manage stress (Some Suggestions):

Exercise.

Massage. Yoga.

Meditation. Tái Qi. etc.

Recognise and accept your limitations.

Write about your feelings.

Be better organised.

Manage your time better.

Balance work & family.

Monitor thinking (banish negative thoughts).

Slow down.

Keep your body healthy and strong.

Reduce demands on you until you feel in control of the situation.

Know where you’re going and have clear goals and priorities.

Think positive: turn problems into challenges.

Use your energy to solve problems, rather than escape from them.

Maintain a strong support network with family and friends.

Stay connected to your community.

Look after the basics: i.e., maintain a good diet, good sleep habits, and don’t use alcohol to relieve your stress. Although a couple of drinks is OK, more than this exacerbates stress and causes depression.

Stress test

If you would like to know if you suffer from too much stress, here is a test for you. This test divides the signs of stress into six stages or levels of stress, with the first stage being the least damaging to your health, and the sixth stage being the most damaging. Identify any symptoms which may apply to you.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Stage 1. The first stage is usually considered to be pleasant, and many people enjoy and become addicted to it. However, energy reserves are being depleted. Perhaps you should consider changing your routines. Maybe you need a holiday.

Symptoms:

O   Great zest.

O   Unusually acute perception.

O   Excessive nervous energy.

O   Ability to accomplish more work than usual.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Stage 2. A few less pleasant symptoms are noticed in this stage. Energy reserves do not last throughout the whole day.

Symptoms:

O   Tiredness after rising, or loss of energy after lunch.

O   Occasional disturbances of bowel function.

O   Heart ‘flutters’.

O   Tightness of muscles in the back and around the skull.

O   A feeling of being unable to relax.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Stage 3. Tiredness becomes more pronounced.

Symptoms:

O   Greater disturbances in bowel function.

O   Stomach troubles.

O   Tightening of muscles.

O   Increased feelings of tenseness.

O   Sleep disturbances.

O   Feeling like you want to faint (without actually fainting).

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Stage 4. Symptoms become worse.

Symptoms:

O   Great difficulty in getting through the day.

O   Previously pleasant activities are now difficult to engage in.

O   Withdrawal from conversations, friends, social activities etc.

O   Increased sleep disturbance. Unpleasant dreams. Early morning awakening.

O   Negative thoughts and feelings.

O   Poor concentration.

O   Nameless fears.

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Stage 5. A deepening of the above symptoms.

Symptoms:

O   Extreme fatigue.

O   Difficulty managing fairly simple tasks.

O   Extreme disturbance of stomach and bowel.

O   Pervasive feelings of fear.

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Stage 6. The final, frightening, stage.

Symptoms:

O   Pounding of the heart, and feelings of panic as a result of a surge of adrenaline.

O   Gasping for breath. Hyper-ventilation.

O   Trembling, shivering, sweating.

O   Numbness or tingling in the extremities.

O   Exhaustion. Not enough energy to do simple tasks.

As the body’s reserves are depleted, the immune system responds poorly, and we become vulnerable to more frequent illnesses. There may be uncharacteristic mood swings. Previous patterns of behaviour or beliefs may change radically. Extreme tiredness, anxiety, and depression may be evident.

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If you think that you may be suffering from high levels of stress, please contact a doctor or a mental health professional. He can help you to make the necessary changes in your thinking and behaviour that you need to make.

Or maybe you can make these changes yourself. Why not take responsibility for your own lifestyle and your own physical and mental health, and change what you think you can change. Begin with one thing and succeed at it. This way you are more likely to maintain your new commitment to lowering your level of stress.

For example, start getting more exercise. You will be surprised at how effective this activity is for lowering stress. Then build another change into your life. You decide what works best for you. Be your own scientist. Get to know your own mind and body. Observe how they are related. Notice how your thinking can affect your mood. Read more about stress. Learn how to control the things which you can control, and how to let go of the things which you know you cannot control. Experiment on yourself. Know yourself.

You are responsible for your own life. Nobody else is. Not your boss, or the economy. Not your parents or your spouse. You are responsible for your future. Luck and fate are irrelevant.

Conclusion:

• Too much stress can make us ill.
• We can learn to manage stress.
• Managing stress is a balancing act.

Last words

That’s all folks. Buckle up now, and enjoy the ride along with 20% of the world’s population. These people will welcome you to their Middle Kingdom, and you will be delighted with their goodwill and hospitality. As a Foreign friend, you will have a special status here, so be on your best behaviour at all times. Forgive their open curiosity, and don’t be too concerned about intrusions into your privacy. That’s the way it is here.

A few words about safety for you and your family. Violent crime is rare in China. Generally speaking, you can travel safely without worrying about being mugged by a junkie or kidnapped by a terrorist. Petty theft is the main concern, so take the usual precautions. Especially in crowded busses, elevators, and transit centers. The main danger here is in crossing the street. China’s drivers and pedestrians have no sense of personal responsibility for what happens in that no-mans-land between the kerbs.  Think of this space as a danger zone always. It’s murder out there.

Take care of yourselves while you are here, and good luck.

Zaijian,

布莱恩  Bu Lai En.  Brian. 

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